Kemarin rabu, 23 april 2024, kami sepakati sebagai hari libur bersama dari proses berkegiatan di teater. Jadi aku tidak berangkat ke kampus, aku bahkan tidak keluar rumah. Sarapan dan makan siangku hari itu merangkap jadi makan malamku, aku memesan gofood pukul 5 sore setelah semua jadwal ujianku habis kubolosi. Lalu kembali ku berdiam diri dalam gelap kamarku, digerogoti isi buah pikir kepalaku, semua stimuli dari luar aku blokade, tidak kuhiraukan sama sekali. Segala keresahan dan kepenatan yang bermanifestasi menjadi perilaku hibernasi, metamorfosa kepompong, dan untuk apa? Apa hikmahnya? Apa faedahnya?
Dikutip dari sebuah situs imageboard tertentu
1314 Name: Anonymous : 2025-04-24 18:12 ID:Z+QXYiUo
Is there even such a thing as simple laziness? I hadn't got out of bed and I haven't been eating for more than 20 hours now, for the sole reason that I'd need to get out of bed to get food. I feel like I won't mind if I just died out of starvation tbh, just because that'd be easier than getting food from outside. My desktop and chargers are all beside my bed, so I don't need to move to accommodate their battery power. My room is plenty cool with air conditioner, so I have no need to look for fresher air.
I probably gonna have to order online food soon since my stomache is starting to get real noisy and feels tight now, but its not like I couldn't push through them if I really want to. I don't really think about taking my own life, but its not like I'm gonna be upset if someone told me someone's gonna push me onto an oncoming truck, I probably would just accept it as is and made no attempt to avoid it.
People always told me I'm irresponsible in my duties, well, its always my fault and its always up to me to fix it until they realize I don't care about my life either, isn't it? How to patch fix?
1315 Name: Anonymous : 2025-04-24 18:42 ID:VqNoFAdh
>>1314 Bruh, go eat something and then go outside. Ignore the haters.
1316 Name: Anonymous : 2025-04-24 22:37 ID:Z+QXYiUo
>>1315 I finally ate, ordered something online, but its night time now so I can't really go anywhere.
And I skipped my exams today, and I ignored all messages from people I know today, and there are ongoing daily group activities I missed out on today and yesterday, and I don't know how they would really turn out without me around, and I've been neglecting my duties since yesterday.
How much is too much laziness that it was actually a symptom for something more terrible? And how much is even more laziness that it simply overclocks back to being a simple laziness?
1317 Name: Anonymous : 2025-04-25 00:18 ID:VqNoFAdh
>>1316 That's not laziness, I'd definitely consider that depression. Depression doesn't always equal sad, it means your emotions and energy are low. You're lacking motivation, passion, etc. You're in a depression. The way through it is either go to therapy and work out why your emotional state is being subpar or deal with it yourself. Both are fine. It's even fine to not want to deal with society and responsibilities right now, but definitely take the time to at least self reflect on your mental health instead of diving into mind numbing social media or games.
1318 Name: Anonymous : 2025-04-25 15:43 ID:Z+QXYiUo
>>1317 Very hard when in the middle of a long term project, so tiny space for leisure movement/manouvre.
I wanna blame something, but there's simply nothing that I could point to. Its all on me, in my head, because I'm the one feeling it all. I skip my duties, I feel bad for skipping them, which drags me even lower to want even less things to do with the duties, but I know I still need to do them, and it keeps going on and on.
Why is our brain like this?
1319 Name: Anonymous : 2025-04-25 15:44 ID:8VVDQxaY
^ sounds like depression bro
great fun to have when you don't even want to make instant noodles
on that note, im kinda too fucking lazy to cook today but... the chickpeas have been sitting in water for a while so i should cook them aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
No comments:
Post a Comment